There is a great Will Smith movie called Hitch where Smith gives some excellent advice for looners. Will Smith plays the Date Doctor: he helps guys find the right opportunity to get noticed by their dream girls. Right at the beginning, we see him coaching a couple of guys who are about to go on their first dates with women they secretly love. As he’s getting these guys pumped and ready to go, he throws out this little gem of wisdom:
“She wants to see all of you. Not all at once, but she DOES want to see it.”
For the sake of inclusiveness, let’s make it gender neutral.
Your partner wants to see all of you. They just don’t want to see everything right away.
This tends to be the opposite of how looners (and most kinksters) introduce their partner to a kink. Most people tend to be in two camps:
Camp 1) You never tell you partner you have a balloon fetish. You loon secretly by yourself and die a sad and lonely death after never being allowed to enjoy the wonders of looning with an accepting partner. There are no balloons at your funeral because no one knows what you like.
Camp 2) When babe gets home, you’re lying provocatively on the bed, surrounded by a sea of gorgeous loons. You’ve got an uninflated 17” lying provocatively by your belt buckle, but they don’t notice your seduction because they’re busy dialing the police. The popo arrive, you get hauled off to jail for impersonating yourself with intent to pop balloons maliciously, and you die a sad and lonely death in prison, eating prison food and not getting to play with balloons.
Okay, you won’t die. But neither camp is fun.
Camp 1 is never coming out to your partner, or even having a partner. It’s lonely and no fun.
Camp 2 is smashing your partner over the head with your fetish so hard they freak out and reject the idea. It’s easy to overwhelm someone with your enthusiasm for balloons and completely turn them off by coming on too hard, too fast.
The ultimate goal is to move out of Camp 1, as most of us want to include a partner but aren’t dating a looner.
The trick is moving out of Camp 1 without ending up in Camp 2. Scaring your partner away from balloons permanently isn’t the idea. We want to show them that balloons can be a fun and healthy part of a relationship.
In theory, this is easy. There are two problems, however.
The first problem is that popular media tends to show unrealistic pictures about how life works. When Christian Gray introduces Anastasia Steele to sub life, she suddenly discovers she’s wanted to be bound and beaten her entire life. Likewise, you’ve probably read or watched a whole bunch of scenarios where someone introduces their date to balloons, the new looner loves it immediately, and they spend a wild and passionate night putting Qualatex out of business. Porn likes to pretend that people overcome their fears and discover new passions overnight, but getting comfortable with someone’s kink is like falling in love: it requires a lot of small, positive experiences.
The second problem is that when we finally get to release something we’ve been holding back for a long time, we tend to go a little nuts. Starving people stuff themselves until they’re dangerously sick. Addicts overdose and put their bodies into shock. And kinksters who finally get the chance to introduce their partner to a kink can come on so hard that they scare, embarrass, or otherwise overwhelm their partner into not liking the kink. Let’s be honest, most people don’t see why balloons might be sexy. It’s fun to imagine opening the door and leading your wide-eyed beau into a magic fairyland full of huge balloons, but to them it would likely seem pretty weird. You have to help them see balloons the way you do.
This is where we need to remember Will Smith’s little bit of wisdom:
Your partner wants to see all of you.
But not all at once.
Introducing your partner to your fetish is like any new experience, skill or endeavor. You need to start small, create a good experience, and then build gradually from there. They’ll probably never feel the same way about balloons that you do, but once they get used to the idea, they may start to surprise you. Most people want their partner to feel good, and if your partner cares about you and can see that you’re turned on by balloons, they will probably be curious and want to explore it.
The trick is, you have to go slow and gentle so you don’t push them past their current comfort zone. If they’re new to the idea, don’t force them to blow to pop a balloon. If they’re warming to the idea, don’t turn them off by asking them to have wild sex in a room filled to the ceiling with balloons. And if they’ve gotten comfortable enough with balloons that they suggest using one during sex, for the love of god don’t say “That’s great honey, but can you do it like in this video?”
In case you have a partner you’ve been wanting to talk to about balloons but don’t know where to start, we’d like to help point you in a direction that seems to work. This worked for me, and of the dozen people I’ve talked to about it, no one’s come after me with a chainsaw screaming “She left me, you bitch!” It seems to be a good place to start, and we hope it helps you.
The trick to introducing your partner to any kind of reasonable fetish is to go slow, make it easy, and don’t ruin the moment by asking them to do more. Most people are familiar with the idea of blowing a balloon, and unless they’re deathly scared of balloons it’s a good place to start.
My advice would be this:
The next time that special person looks at you suggestively and asks what kind of fun you’d like to have tonight, instead of saying “Hmm, I don’t know babe, what do you want?”, try saying something like this:
“Umm, I don’t really know but...well, actually there’s one thing I’ve kind of been wanting to try. It’s a bit silly and I wasn’t sure, but it might be kind of fun.”
Unless your partner is really against trying anything new, their response will probably be something like this:
“Oh really? What do you want to try?”
Now here is where you need to keep Mr. Smith’s advice in mind. Don’t say “I want you to blow up a 24 inch belbal until it bursts all over the room,” or “Let’s fill the bedroom with balloons and then you can murder them all with those red heels you only wear to Christmas parties.” You want to start off easy and simple, so it’s best to say something like:
“Well, I actually find it really, really hot when a girl/guy/person blows up a balloon. I don’t know why, it’s just really sexy somehow. It’s kind of silly, I know, but I’d actually love to see you slowly and sexily blow up a party balloon. I think that would just drive me nuts.”
The strategy to this method is simple: since you’re asking them to do something that’s easy and fun, there’s little reason to say no. And even if they’re not comfortable doing it, it’s kind of an odd request: if they don’t want to blow one, they’ll probably be curious and ask you about it later, which gives you a great opportunity to talk to them about it. (Just remember, keep it simple.)
The exact words aren’t critical. The important thing is to let your partner know that you think it’s sexy when people blow up balloons and it’d be incredibly hot to see them do it. Maybe they’d like to do a sexy striptease while blowing it. Maybe they’d like to take turns blowing it. Maybe they’d like to blow it in a sexy candlelit bubble bath with your lips nibbling down the side of their neck. It doesn’t matter. Just make it easy and familiar. What does matter is how you react if they agree to do it. Whether your partner loves the idea or thinks it’s odd but agrees anyway, if they blow up a balloon for you you need to make it all about them. They’re making themselves vulnerable by agreeing to do something different, so make sure they know you find them sexy. Key word is THEM. If you stare dumbly at the balloon the whole time and just sit there with your hand in your pants, they’ll feel self-conscious and awkward. You want to make it clear that the thing you find sexy is them blowing it for you.
What I usually recommend to people is this: have you partner kneel or sit in front of you and put your arms around them so you’re hugging them from behind. Get close, cuddle, kiss, start to make it steamy, then let them start to blow. Give them a reasonably small balloon. (Most people are familiar with the typical balloons you see at parties. Don’t freak them out with a 24”.) As they blow it up, kiss their neck, whisper in their ear, nuzzle their hair, do whatever you normally do to show affection when you’re getting it on. Let them know just how exciting you find it. If they think you just want to see some weird porn, they’re probably not going to be into it, but if they know you find them sexy, then blowing the balloon becomes sexy. Let them know how hot they are and how awesome they look, and that you really love what they’re doing.
Now the hard thing for a popper: DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ASK THEM TO BLOW IT UNTIL IT POPS! I don’t care how turned on you both are, I don’t care how spunky or tough they are, don’t even ask. It’s their first time. Let them get comfortable with it. Maybe someday down the road they’ll do a B2P for you, but now is not the time. Encourage them to blow it until it’s good sized and pretty looking, but not so big that it starts to strain and threatens to pop. You want them to feel sexy and accomplished, not nervous. Let them tie it off, or help them tie it if they have trouble.
And then?
And then stop.
Don’t push them for more. Don’t ask them to blow another. If they’re enjoying it and want to blow another one, then cool. But don’t ask. Tie that first one off, let them know it’s gorgeous and they did a hell of a good job, and then forget all about it. Focus all your attention on your partner. Kiss them, caress them, start to move the foreplay into something more serious if you’d like, but leave them with no doubt about how sexy they are to you. You asked them to be vulnerable and try something different, and they did it for you. Now let them know that it’s THEM you find sexy, not just the balloon.
Positive early experiences will make them more likely to accept your fetish. Your goal is not to reenact one of Alissa’s videos, it’s to have a sexy moment around a balloon with your partner. Once that’s done, move on and make the rest of the night about them. Next time they’re in the mood, they can blow another if they’d like, or maybe try a bit or riding. (It’s really easy to incorporate a squishy loon into a sexy striptease.) Once they’ve gotten used to balloons, maybe try a bit of popping using heals, boots or nails. (Plus earplugs!)
From there, you can start to bring balloons into normal sex and romance. Again the key is not pushing them past their comfort zone. That zone will grow as they have more good experiences, but if you overdo it they’ll get weirded out and not want to play with you. Let them see all of you. Just show it to them a little bit at a time. And for the love of balloons and all other good things, do NOT show them a balloon video and ask them to do what the actress does. That’s an amateur mistake. You’re better than that. If you want to see a video, don’t ask your babe to be your pornstar. Join AlissaBalloons.com instead. Alissa has hundreds of great clips, and if you’re alone then go nuts on her site. You can check her VIP TELEGRAM group
But when you’re with a partner, make it all about them. Just you and your sweetheart, and maybe a balloon or two.
For now, at least.
Have fun!
10/12/20 Chris M is a freelance writer and a kinkster. He enjoys sarcasm, balloons, and late nights in front of his computer. (Typing, you perv…)
